First wife or not

This is a point I am still struggling with. Should there be one first wife around the house? Today, I think that would not be a good idea. It would break the symmetry and increase the fighting among the other women to try and take her place. On the other hand, if I would need one woman to be my advisor or my confidant, it would be impossible to devote this function to one of the women without promoting that person to be an implicit first wife. Sharing the confidant function among four is too difficult and would increase a mutual suspicion among the four wifes. But also in classic monogamic relationships the confidant you can discuss with about your marriage can not be the same person as the one you are married to. That is why I now beleive I would need a fifth person to be my confidant -- just like business people who have their external advisor(s). That person preferably is a woman, since only women can get deep into the understanding of other women's motives. Should this person be known around the house? Should this person also advise me on the recruitment of the four wifes? Can I be her best friend or even have sex with her? Many questions that are still open, but definitely need to be answered before I can even start with the implementation of my community.

A symmetrical structure around one alpha male

The idea of building a community around one man, is not only a consequence of my personality that does not allow a second alpha male around the house. It also brings in symmetry. One central male figure allows the group to spin around a leader that enables all the other members to be more or less equal. This avoids the difficulties arising from two captains or from a full democracy.

From my personal business experiments allowing a high level of complete democracy, I have learned that natural and accepted leadership stimulates growth and increases the level of fairness of a group -- provided, of course, the leader is an objective and honest person. I can imagine some of you might be more fond to build a full democratic community, but that is not my personal opinion and drive. Leadership however, is not the same as tirrany. Fair leadership requires the leader to regularly investigate the requirements and feelings of all members, and steer the community towards a direction that allows members to feel well. On the other hand, leadership prevents the group from trying to cover the largest of possible set of requirements. It is better to try to cover a clear and basic set of member requirements and 100% stick to them.

At least that is how I see things.

Sultan Murati