Last week I listened to the interview of a nun on a famous Flemisch radio station. The nun lives in a small convent community in a normal house near Louvain (Belgium). The similarities between the convent community and my dream made me sit up a bit. Indeed, the nun mentioned that she liked to share her life with like-minded women and she loved to live together and have a great family life in that convent community. They all share one man -- Christ. And they all share one vision -- to help people feel more happy.
That radio interview made it clear to me that I need to communicate a vision and mission statement from the first moment on, in order to make all participants of my community happy. Only when all five members of the community share that vision, can we live happily together. Actually, every family should draw up a vision and mission statement from the first moment, in order to stay together in harmony over time.
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2 comments:
Hi Sultan,
I am not surprised that you make this comparison. Many women who live in poly families have similar reasons to want this lifestyle, I think... I also remember this comparison is also brought forward in a profile of Valmont on Alt.com (he lives with 4 women, and is still hoping to expand). Eventhough you are probably not interested in the same lifestyle he is living, these women are there out of pure devotion for him. At least, that is what he wants to believe. Personally, I do think practical and social reasons are just as much of influence in these women's decision to live such a life. It gives them safety, they can feel they are taken care of, when they need a shoulder to cry on, there is always a sister around to find support... and the man is the strong leader taking control of the situation. The women look up at him and at the same time are completely dependent on him. Sounds pretty much like nuns, only the man is their God, and their God DOES have sex with them.
What you want is not quite as controlling as what Valmont wants. You do not want to be God and have the responsability of being their God, you want these women to still be independent, self-aware and strong women. This is in my opinion healthier, but in a way more challenging. In the system of a harem, or a monastery, or the House of Valmont, there are very clear rules by which all women have to live. Those rules do not permit much "independence". But as you leave more room for independence, you also leave more room for jealousy, competition and conflict. It's probably not impossible, but it may take very good negotiation skills, which you undoubtedly have ;-)
Sasha
Sasha,
thank you for this very positive comment ... it feels good being supported.
About the challenge of coordinating a house with four independent carreer women. That indeed is a major issue. But I do have a long lasting experience of organizing independent partners in a business venture. They too, do not allow someone to dictate what can and cannot be done. And they too, have been staying around for many years. I hope to use part of that experience in my private venture too.
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